Growing Up in Dance
In the ‘about me’ section of this site, I wrote that dance has taught me almost all of what I know about myself, and I couldn’t word it any better here. Growing up in dance carved out my future, and accounts for so much of who I am today; I think so much understanding of what defines me as a dancer comes from how much my childhood powers my undeniable love for dance & how I always strive to make my younger self proud in all I that do.
Theres a trend going around at the moment of ‘(Alexis) knew who she was from a very young age.’ And it’s true, I did. I knew I was a dancer. And in every interaction I have with dance, little Alexis is still there with me, so excited to get on stage, or into the studio, or try on a new costume, always looking forward to my next class or creative endeavour. I carry her with me in every step, turn, leap, look, touch, in every ounce of movement and in every new dancing venture. I know that little me is smiling extra hard every time I enter a new dance space, and that connection to my younger self is something that instils such pride in me and encourages me in the hard times to continue on striving for more in the dance world, to create more of what I love, as that pure love for dance is a constant that has always remained consciously protected as I grow.
Loving dance so much from so young is something I feel is so special. It’s enchanting, and as a young girl it felt like such a dreamlike world to step into. My first interaction with this world was at three years old. I started taking ballet, modern & tap at Langley School of Dance, and within a year of dancing there, I was firmly set on pursuing dance going forward. When other kids would talk about wanting to be astronauts or princesses or something dreamlike when they grow up, I would always state that I wanted to be a dance teacher, because to me; that was dreamlike. I wanted to be just like my dance teachers, Miss Leanne, Miss Holly, Miss Naomi & Miss Samantha. I wanted to bring the joy that they brought to me to others. I knew what they did for me was special – even from three years old, I knew that what I was learning held high importance in my life, and I knew I treasured my time at dance class. Later on, I added to street dance to this list of classes I took, and aside from Langley, I also attended a street dance club at school and was a cheerleader for a couple of years at Cheer London Allstars.
When I think about little me navigating the world of dance, and experiencing so many firsts in what is probably the most influential, integral and important part of my life, I am hit with such a strong wave of nostalgia. It makes me think of my tiny pink ballet shoes skipping around St Mary’s church hall, and how those steps were, without me knowing, already creating paving stones in the pathway of my entire journey through life, as ever since then, dance has always been intertwined in my life, my experiences, and my choices. The nostalgia connected to growing up in dance is something that’s so special to me. Not only does it hold value in the current context of me in my early twenties establishing myself as a dance artist, it holds value in simply being a main source of joy in my childhood. Where I learnt to dance, it wasn’t a pressurised space. Langley School of Dance is somewhere that nurtures confidence, creativity, friendships. We weren’t forced into hierarchy and perfectionism or even overly connected to technique but moreso enjoyment.
All that sentimentality embedded into the feelings of looking back across my childhood makes appreciate the art of noticing all the little impacts that dance has carved into my experiences of growing up. I think of how colourful and vibrant those experiences are, like the rainbow created by silk juggling scarves that we used to wave around in baby ballet, or the twinkling sound of music coming from my jewelry box that features a tiny ballerina pirouetting to a classic ballet score, the shimmer and shine of sequins and eyeshadow backstage at shows, or looking out at a sea of smiling faces from the stage with families waving up at us and my granny probably pulling some sort of funny face at me to try and make me break character and laugh. All of these experiences are equally mirrored in my dance world now; the colours of costumes, the emotion evoked by soundtracks, the glam of getting ready, and always my whole family showing up to support me (including granny still wanting me to break character and wave back at her). Dance has coloured my life with vibrancy and filled it with idiosyncrasies distinctive to that of a dancer that made growing up, and still make growing up, so special. I think of all of the friends I’ve made, the teacher’s I’ve been endlessly inspired by, countless lessons I’ve learnt about myself and my surroundings, and the many doors dance has continued to open for me.
A childhood centred around dance reminds me of memories I could never have curated without it. Whether that be flashbacks to my first introduction to technique through naughty toes and nice toes to practice flexing and pointing, or learning paradiddles for the first time. Or the familiar faces I found in the classes each week, who became so central in my life throughout my childhood. These characters and connections are so special to me. The sense of community built into the friendships, holding hands in the wings to calm the little butterflies in our stomachs before stepping onto stage for the first time, playing little games backstage of our shows or whilst waiting in the hallway of the church hall before class. Our dance class was our own little hub of connection, and that’s something I still search for in each class now – each group of people fuels it’s own story. It’s so emotive to move together, and I feel as though dance taught us to lean on each other when we need to. It also taught us the art of inspiration. All the times I would sit peering through the window of the door in the entry way of our church hall, watching in awe of the other classes that ran before mine. I remember sometimes the older girls shared the hall with us, taking their lesson at the other end, and whenever I could I would catch a glance over to visualise more of what I one day wanted to become. Rewatching my old dance DVDs of our shows at Langley, I can remember being so enthralled by all the dances, not just my own, and to this day I can so clearly visualise so many of the routines of the older groups that I just adored watching back as a kid, knowing I would be stepping up through those year groups as I grew.
Life as a young dancer really was glitz and glamour. Everything was so spectacular. The extreme tightness of our buns for our exams, our numbers perfectly pinned to our exam-wear, the waves of emotion rising and falling whilst waiting nervously in the hallway before entering the room, and the first key on the piano being played instantly setting us into motion. The sparkle of sequins on costumes, especially dazzling under the lights of a stage. I remember Miss Leanne’s mum would make and source the costumes and us all being so excited to try them on in class weeks before the show. The atmosphere of being backstage of performances in busy dressing rooms with such a whirlwind of stuff going on all around us. The highlight of my summer was always our Dance Summer School at Langely, in which we would do a week intensive of learning dances to three different musicals. It was just the most colourful, vibrant way to spend some of my summer, filled with so many moments of discovery and excitement. Of course, any areas of performance or showcase were always felt like such sparkly, shimmering moments like my first ever time on stage; it was a tap dance, and there was five of us. We barely made it on stage and performed basically still in the wings, dressed in feather boas and fringe dresses, but the most magical part is you can see in the DVD of the show our faces as we dance looking over at each other beaming in awe of what was occurring, so excited to share this moment dancing together. We weren’t sure then the new passion and pathways we were igniting but I always knew that the role of dance in my life was so beyond special. This impact would show up in big ways like where I aligned my passions and goals, but in small ways too, like always picking out little ornaments of ballerinas to add to our tree at Christmas time. Dance has always been my greatest love; like in the movies where teens write on their notepads ‘I heart (insert crushes name)’ but I would replicate this with signing ‘I heart dance’ or ‘I heart performing’, leaving a little trace of my love for the artform wherever I went. That’s definitely something I take on from my younger self; to leave a little trace of my love for the artform wherever I go.
The dance studio was like this little magical world of its own, a portal where nothing else mattered, just dancing with your friends and teachers. Our dance classes were on a Tuesday and often, Talitha and I would have pancakes after school and then carpool there together. I was a busy child with activities most days after school but Tuesdays were always my favourite.
My childhood was centred around dance, even outside of the designated dance spaces. Every waking moment that wasn’t already accounted for I’d resort to dance. I vividly remember dancing on my wooden dining room floor, cd player in the corner, picking out my favourite songs on records, or when I was a bit older using my dad’s iPad to search for music videos on YouTube, and choreographing different dances for hours on end. Being in that creative mindset was my safe space, and when I reflect on my childhood it’s impossible to picture any part of it without the integration of dance. I recount the absolute joy of creating Video Stars, little in-app music videos. This was probably my friends and I’s number one childhood activity, and it was all we ever wanted to do. Discovering this app was beyond magical and I remember one of my first ones I made was a tap dance but filmed from different angles, using various effects to ‘I Want’ by One Direction. I know my love for this as a bonding activity with all my friends was interwoven with my love for making, creating, and visualising. As I state now when describing myself as a dance artist, I adore helping to idealise a vision, and I think this innate passion has such strong ties to my childhood. On long car journeys as a child I’d listen to the music playing and create elaborate dance performances in my head, or maybe pre-plan our next video star, already so inclined to artistically create and direct. I was also always creating dances in the playground at school, mapping them out and teaching my friends, creating elaborate stories and narratives that sometimes interlinked with bigger picture plays or performances that we’d cultivate together. In the summertime when we has some of our lunchtimes across the road on the cricket field, these ideas became even grander and more experimental because we could incorporate more tricks we had learnt in cheerleading classes. This is such a big display of how dance enriched my childhood so much. We were always moving and making and thinking beyond ourselves. My brother and I would also always dance along to Strictly on the TV, I probably forced him because I needed a ballroom partner, but I’m sure in some capacity he enjoyed it too. I was always creating performances on our decking in our back garden and inviting friends and family and neighbours round to watch. As much as I spent so much time dancing, I cannot believe how much time the people around me spent watching me dancing. I am endlessly grateful to this day to have such a supportive and invested family in witnessing me evolve within this passion that I adore so much. They’re always there front row at shows and I know that’s something I never grow out of loving.
Dance has painted my childhood into a beautiful mosaic of joy, connection, and meaning unlike any other, and I am endlessly grateful to have experienced growing up through the lens of being a dancer. It is so beyond special; truly the dream childhood and I wouldn’t have it any other way. To this day Langley School of Dance holds space for my fondest memories that I continue to treasure as growing up dancing there has informed so much of who I now choose to be as a dance artist. I carry my younger self with me in all that I do, and I hope that all that I go on to do within the dance world makes her proud.
Somewhere along the line growing up in dance, changed to simply growing in dance – and I’m glad that throughout it all the dance part never changed. And I hope it never does. I hope one day I’ll be recounting all my experiences of not only growing up in dance, but growing old in dance too. all the love, Alexis Elyzia x 